Primal Dating: What Modern Romance Gets Wrong | Tim Ash

Dating in 2026 feels broken. The apps promise infinite choice, rom-coms on our screens promise “the one”, and yet frustration, ghosting, and mismatched expectations seem to be more normal than anything actually working out. This week, we explore why dating in the modern world feels so unstable and why many of today’s relationship struggles aren’t personal failures, but predictable outcomes of our ancient instincts clashing with modern environments and expectations.

Tim Ash, author of Primal Dating, joins us to add a little evolutionary psychology and behavioral science to the world of romance and wooing. Things get steamy as we unpack how the human mating strategies of hunter-gatherers still influence attraction, jealousy, commitment, and choice today. We’re getting to the bottom of what makes love work and what helps it fall flat – from pair bonding and sexual marketplaces to life-stage mismatches and the illusion of infinite options – biology is subtly driving our behavior even with the influence of apps and cultural norms.

Should we reframe love itself? Is love a permanent state that should last forever, or is it a powerful, biological mechanism designed for survival? We swear our Behavioral Grooves team wants your Valentine’s Day filled with adoration and sweet nothings. Still, we wouldn’t be scientists if we didn’t playfully challenge the idealized narrative about what relationships should be, and instead, offer a more grounded and compassionate framework for understanding ourselves, our partners, and the realities of modern romance.

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