What Dating Apps Miss About Attraction | Paul Eastwick

Most of us believe we know exactly what we want in a romantic partner. We might have lists, preferences, pros/cons, or dealbreakers that we’ve told ourselves are entirely reasonable, personal, and rational. As usual, behavioral science is telling us a very different story. In continuing our month of love, we’re taking this episode to challenge the assumption that attraction follows our preferences and flip that concept on its head.

Relationship scientist and evolutionary psychologist Paul Eastwick is back to unpack why checklists, dating apps, and “mate value” hierarchies often fail. Attraction isn’t shaped by fixed traits, but by interactions, shared history, timing, and context. The butterflies in your stomach may be a good gut instinct, but true compatibility emerges over time through effort and continued interaction.

We’re dismantling the dating apps by exploring how and why they amplify the wrong signals, why small social networks are better for love than endless choice, and why love at first sight is the exception, not the rule. If your dating life doesn’t quite match your “ideal partner checklist”, this fascinating look at love might offer you some explanations (and hope!) for the future of your meaningful relationships.

Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube Channel